Home » The Frolic Corner » Currently Reading:

THE ANATOMY OF HAPPINESS

Reign July 30, 2012 The Frolic Corner 39 Comments

THE ANATOMY OF HAPPINESS

If you ask people what they want from life, many will answer that they want to be happy: but how many of those people really understand what happiness is? Some may say happiness is laying on the beach not doing anything, some may reply they feel happy when they laugh a lot, and others might feel happiness is when you are on vacation or when they fall in love.

I think happiness is a bit more complex than this. Happiness must contain a feeling of accomplishment to really qualify as happiness. Try to remember the last time you truly felt happy and you will see that you reached some sort of goal. Perhaps the goal was to go to Disney World with the family, and you saved money during the entire year and you were able to take the kids on vacation. That made you happy; not because you were on vacation so much, but because you accomplished what you set out to do.

Happiness is that feeling of accomplishment one gets right after we reach a goal. The examples are numerous: a team that scores a goal in football will bring some of the happiest moments in history, graduating is another big one, getting married to the person you love is certainly on the list, etc.   Why are there so many divorces right after marriage? Couples have the goal of marrying their fiancés, and if they do, their wedding day may be their most memorable day in their universe.  This goal brings about happiness for a short period of time, but if they don’t quickly make some new goals as a couple and work hard to achieve those goals… love won’t last. The bitterness and hatred that surrounds divorces are legendary.

Reaching your goals is very important to feel happiness. Try to remember how you felt the last time you decided to renovate your house: you threw out stuff, you painted walls, you made the garden prettier, you cleaned every little corner, you bought new furniture and curtains – and wow – some weeks later, you sat down and contemplated your achievements. Perhaps you had to do some work which was unpleasant to you, but how did you feel when you were done? That brief contemplation of a goal reached is what happiness is all about. It doesn’t last long, and so we must make a new goal right after it, or we soon go down the scale to unhappiness.

Another great example of happiness and one that is easy to achieve on a daily basis is the ‘to do’ list. Remember a day when you had a lot of stuff to do? Go to the bank, Pay the gas bill, go to the dentist for that check-up you have been postponing and do the laundry. You made it, you finished it… how did you feel afterwards? That’s happiness! So we see that happiness doesn’t need fancy achievements or superpower abilities; simply doing what one sets out to do is enough to bring happiness to our lives whatever these chores may be.

Seldom do we see someone who is unhappier than a person who has nothing to do. I really know this. I get messages every day from people who want to work for BOSL & CO and when I ask them what they would like to do, many answer: “Anything!” You know why this is? Because even in a game like Second Life one needs a purpose: because without one, there is nothing but boredom and unhappiness. Pity the fool who only wants to “have fun” or do nothing but hang out, they don’t last long.

Nothing brings more unhappiness than agreeing to do something and then not doing it. Setting out to do your list of chores and not doing it will always make you feel bad. Life is not about fun, it is about completing those things you agreed to do in a timely fashion. This is responsibility, this is what trust is made out of, and this is what gives you credibility in the eyes of others. This is the very core of the foundations of happiness.

It’s strange. I am on Margarita Island real life at the time of writing this piece, and yet I took twenty minutes to write this article. Wasn’t I supposed to be perfectly happy with nothing to do but lie on the beach and drink Pina Coladas? Apparently not.

Be aware of people who tell you to not do anything, be cautious of advertising that sells purposeless fun, be mindful of people who tell you to work out a plan for revenge purposes (or any other destructive plan), be very aware of people who recommend you to quit your job. These people are really telling you: “I don’t care about your happiness; I just want to use you for my own purposes and gain.”

A destructive purpose brings unhappiness just the same as no purpose. How many prisoners feel happy with what they did? Not one. So make sure your goals and intentions are constructive rather than destructive,  be sure you keep your word once granted, be loyal, be truthful, agree to those things you can actually carry out and then do them to the best of your ability. This will make you worthy of trust, which in my opinion, is the most valuable commodity any person can possibly possess. Violate any of this norms enough times, and you will end up a very unhappy person.

I have learned this the hard way and thought perhaps it had some worth sharing it with you all. May you become the happiest person you can possibly be.
Get busy!
Frolic Mills

 

PS: This post was written out of my own personal experience and any coincidence with someone else’s fortune or misfortune is completely accidental. And you, what makes you happy? Please share it with us!

Currently there are "39 comments" on this Article:

  1. SpacyMaycee says:

    Hey Frolic,
    thanx for showing & giving that possibillity !

    It`s astonishing that other people really think, they know U and everything about Ur life…
    and due of that they tell other people their opinion…but..who want to know their opinoin ?
    The word INDIVIDUALITY and the meaning of it…seems to be unkown for that person.
    His way of life: no more learning cause knowing everything about all…
    how boring & limited…isn`t it ?

    I think the meaning of happiness is for everyone individual – like every life-form !
    But i know,what you mean…i can tell you,some people never ever played a computer-
    game before,brought their first computer in 2012… maybe you can imagine,how difficult it is,
    knowing NOTHING about computers! That takes time & nervs !!!

    Things maken me happy… i love TECHNO and living TECHNO makes me happy and
    of course being FREE-MINDED !!!

    Have a nice time … :-) !!!

  2. Secrets Baily says:

    I enjoyed reading your artical Frolic, and i cant believe someone would attack you for it.
    It is every ones right to be happy…..does it mater what makes them happy?? in my opinion NO, as long as it hurts no one else i dont see a problem with anyone being happy.
    As for attacking your RL thats bang out of order!
    I for one keep my RL apart from my SL life, but i for one am trying to live my RL dream of being a model useing SL as i have no chance of doing it in RL. (im a short 5’5 horse rider with a small stable yard business and also working as a carer for the elderly to earn more cash lol, so no chance of being a rl model there haha) But even tho i have not made it as a top model in SL i am still so very happy, The people i have met n SL have made me so happy and has also reminded me there are still some wonderful people out there.
    So i say sod off the that horrible person that wrote that about you Frolic, and continue being you, be happy and continue to live your dreams in RL and SL

    hugs
    Secrets

  3. Frolic Mills says:

    Now that I know who wrote the nasty anonymous reply, I just want to ask him if that made him happy?

    I know my article made me happy, despite his delusion that everything I write is about him or his partner. You must be craving some attention even if it’s anonymous. You got it, but I promiss you, there is a higher level of existence than sucking the life out of your friends and partners for 15 minutes of fame.

    Try it!

    I leave you with this quote:

    “The underside of this narcissistic coupling is the reverse of the cleverly designed outer package. The dominant narcissistic partner believes and acts as it he owns his mate. She is his possession and cannot take a step without his approval. Often the high level narcissistic engages in myriad acts of infidelity (This is part of his lifestyle)”

    Read more at: http://www.wellsphere.com/mental-health-article/the-narcissistic-couple-what-a-match/928507

    Perhaps even you will see yourself mirrored in this website: http://www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com/

    Oh and one more thing: STOP POSTING WITH MY REAL LIFE NAME AND INITIALS! identity Theft is a crime and I would not have a very hard time finding you.

  4. Brittainy Collins says:

    From Dictionary.com
    Related forms
    o·ver·hap·pi·ness, noun

    Synonyms
    1, 2. pleasure, joy, exhilaration, bliss, contentedness, delight, enjoyment, satisfaction. Happiness, bliss, contentment, felicity imply an active or passive state of pleasure or pleasurable satisfaction. Happiness results from the possession or attainment of what one considers good: the happiness of visiting one’s family. Bliss is unalloyed happiness or supreme delight: the bliss of perfect companionship. Contentment is a peaceful kind of happiness in which one rests without desires, even though every wish may not have been gratified: contentment in one’s surroundings. Felicity is a formal word for happiness of an especially fortunate or intense kind: to wish a young couple felicity in life.

    Antonyms
    1. misery.

    I wish everyone to be blissfully happy and content while reaching much felicity in your sl!

  5. Frolic Mills says:

    Persia Bravin says:
    August 2, 2012 at 8:55 am (Edit)

    I quote:

    “Frolic Mills: The Happy Gay!”

    Fro-there’s the title of your as yet unwritten SL autobiography right there!!!

    See? These misguided, delusional and vitriolic freaks do have some use to humanity.

    Love

    Persia Bravin
    Enslaved BOSL Editor

    Answer from Frolic:

    Btw doesn’t gay already mean happy? so “Frolic Mills the happy happy? Or the gay gay? hmm not so sure about this Miss Bravin. This person is not intelligent enough, not even for that – sighs –

    Now go work – wipissshhhh!

    Fro

  6. Brittainy Collins says:

    is very happy to be a part of the system. has been a BOSL employee for 4 years minus my break.. and a boulevard model just as long.. Oh and i am a damn happy housewife too.. they can kiss my NY and SL ass….

  7. Zandy Oh says:

    Thank you Frolic..as always I enjoy reading your words. Its always interesting to share another persons thoughts..

    This anonymous person..writing about you and your thoughts on happiness..hm
    Honestly he/she isnt worth any words..but readin it..I got so angry.
    Of cource everyone has a right to their opinion..and to express it but to go from that article that I found inspiring..to attack you as a person..both RL and SL..that is just plain nasty..eveil..mean and not contstructive.

    This persons words..and insights about who and what you are..makes me belive its someone in the SL world of Fashion..and has probably been rejected by you..or are jelouse of you and what you accomplished in SL.

    But most of all ..what upsets me..is..the fact that this persons spits on all and everyone in SL..so whats wrong with being a shubby housewife in RL..with dreams of being a modell? What is wrong with searching for something that gives your life meaning..even if it is in a virtual world?
    Did this person even think..about how many that looks for a place to escape a reality that is to hard to deal with..illnesses..depressions..etc.
    This person..spits on all of us..that for some reason arent blessed with children..
    So what..if you are a failure in RL..but a superstar in SL..so what..what does that have to do with anyone but you?
    SL..is a possibility to actually live the life you always dreamt of..do the things you always dreamt of..Be the one you always dreamt to be..look the way you always wanted to look..

    I know..from personal experience..that SL is my lifeline..I dont have this awesome job..in fact I am on a long term sickleave..I dont have tons of money..I dont have an awesome young and fit body….in RL..I have lots of pain in my hands..body and soul that keeps me from doing a lot of things I want to..and would if I could.. I dont have a huge family..with lots of children…guess that makes me a failure..
    But you know..SL give me the oportunity to do all those things..to have the house full of kids..lots of friends from all over the world and timezones..and most of all..I can create..build..make things..that I love so much.
    When depression hits you like a sledgehammer..and your light in the darkness is to come to SL and do and be what you dream of…that is magic to me.

    If me being and loving to be in SL..makes me a failure I am happy to say I am one
    SL saved my life ..and this person spits on all of us..living our dreamlife..or trying to..in SL

    Keep living your Dreams fellow SLérs
    Love Always
    Zandy

    • Frolic Mills says:

      Very bravely said hun. Thank you for sharing this with us.

      Love,

      Frolic

    • Anonymous says:

      Yes Zandy totally agree with you!
      SL helped me so much sometimes
      here is possible to experience so many things that is impossible to do in RL and the feelings are true so … yeeey at SL!

    • Bodza Mubble says:

      Well said. SL is like therapy for me sometimes, just to mention one thing it helps me gain some confidence. Am I a failed person to use SL for that?

      One should stand by their opinion no matter if it’s good or bad, so for Mr/Ms Mysterious Anonymous, grow some backbone and tell us who you are.

      As for Frolic, you’ve only helped me so far. Thank you.

  8. Mixty Graves says:

    Happiness, the engine that drives our hearts and makes beat faster when we found it. Disappears like water on the hands, but still leaving a bit of it drink it, enjoy it and share with those who are important to us. For those who do not see it because they are so busy looking at what others do, criticizing without thinking, wasting time in vain jealousy, and being sadly empty when not being able to share those beautiful moments of happiness. Look in our hearts and see that we need to be full of happiness, seek and obtain all that makes us happy and share it.

  9. That was so much fun :)

    This “re-post” just ended out to make you even more important Frolic!
    A leader always has many followers and the same amount of “anonymous ppl” I think is just all good for you Fro.
    btw absolutely love your articles

    a wannabe housewife Betty

    • Frolic Mills says:

      What’s really weird Betty is that I wrote this article completely out of my own personal experience. But apparently someone is very confused with their first, second and god only knows what other life.

  10. Lua says:

    I think happiness is personal, everyone have is own point of view with happiness, can be a big thing or the smallest thing.
    For me happiness is see the eyes of my kids everyday, hear they voices, be alive, have the things that I need in RL, I worked a lot to can have them and enjoy every single detail, from a sunset to a full moon.

    If SL is your happiness, enjoy it, if RL is your happiness, enjoy it, if both are your happiness (like is my case) enjoy it.

    And for the “person” who posted about your article Frolic, the answer is:
    People think that housewive is denigrating, but is a full time job and not payed, I was selfemployed all my life, my own bussines and also wife and mom, and housewives need to know about everything, be a chef, a doctor, a teacher, a cleaner, plumber, mom, even fix car issues, so what is the issue if we are or not housewives.
    And what if some models in SL are housewives or not, that means that can’t be good or have no rights just because not have job in RL or not have a master degree?

    Lo que escribiste Frolic es verdad y esta muy lindo, hay que ser feliz, estar ocupado asi sea en RL o SL y disfrutar y celebrar los logros, grandes o pequeños y no dejar que nada se interponga en tu felicidad ni en tus sueños, lo que para unos es ridiculo, para otros es un logro, nadie sabe por que estamos en SL ni que nos motiva a hacer lo que hacemos, una chica una vez me impacto que hasta llorar me puso, me dijo:

    Tu sabes porque en SL tengo hijos? y le dije que yo era nueva en SL y me parecia gracioso eso de tener bebes y luego guardarlos en el inventario, ella me respondio, si es verdad, pero lamentablemente SL es la forma mas cercana que puedo sentir lo que es ser madre en RL, eso me mato, y desde entonces respeto cada avatar sea como sea (claro que hay excepciones, hay unos que son HDP jeje)

    So be happy in the way you like and want, is your life and is just one life we have, and goes so fast.

    <3

    Lua

  11. Lori Saxondale says:

    What a fool this person is…I so wish I was a housewife. I run my own company and I do not have the responsibiliy a house with has..they are beyond their call of duty. House wives are the best they do so much for their families and accomplish so muc….Wish we had a “Housewife Day”. The best to all

  12. Xanadu says:

    This text have touched me,
    I agree with leah is always good to remember what’s important! be happy!!

    Xanadu

  13. Frolic Mills says:

    Some anonymous person posted this in some other website, but I thought I should share it here, where it rightfully belongs.

    Frolic Mills.

    =================

    Juan C D says:

    Frolic Mills, the Happy Gay!

    Oh Well, our dearest Frolic has now discovered himself to be a writer as well as philosopher and has now decided to shit his pearls of wisdom over large audience consisting mostly of housewives playing the part of virtual models of… of… of the virtual world called Secondlife!!! Oh yes, because you need to live a Secondlife when the first one is a serious failure, right Frolic Mills? Maybe it was too much for you to bear reaching your mid-life without having accomplished anything of note yet, still living with your mother, without a family, without love, and without a true career and a shady past, present and future. Your entire life has been a big lie, especially lying to yourself. You are a total failure. Everyone knows that when your aren’t in SL that you are busy in other games and virtual “distractions” on the web. So you are the worst example to follow and to listen to. To think that you, of all people, are trying to write about happiness. What you have managed to write is something that has made us smile because it is a ridiculous expression of your huge ignorance!

    Your view of happiness is a view of your pride. And you are writing these things ONLY for your personal gain and business. Your purpose is to depress your readers and force them to think they are sad people because they don’t have a job in a virtual game and perhaps they should even perform a free service for you because that is the true reward. You are a false and constructed person, full of negativity and double intentions. You spent an entire life lying the others, and especially yourself, and you are happy in your negativity! Instead, my opinion, is that a virtual world should be lived according to that adjective, “virtually”. No obligations to anyone and especially not work for free at the behest of someone who claims it is enough reward just to be associated with BOSL. I find those models that follow you and hang on your every word crazy for their loss of real time and real money and all for nothing that has not even the value of being mentioned in a real curriculum. indeed, if anything, they should really be ashamed to reveal that they spend most of their lives as an avatar pretending to be what they really are not.

    And as usual you use your shitty words to degrade the concept of couple and family, because you are full of envy and hate for those who have reached love in their lives and have built families.

    When you paint the negativity of the others you are , in reality, mirroring yourself.

    You carefully use the word destructive in order to avoid the word “suppressive” and hide your true agenda. Yes I know where you learned your manipulative techniques but i will stop here for now and let the readers try to understand for themselves first.

    Your view of happiness is truly narrow minded and shallow just like yourself.

    • Frolic Mills says:

      Thank you for reading my article. I have no idea how you got all of that out of my writing, but I am glad you had your chance to share your viewpoint.

      You are absolutely right, no one should ever confuse slavery (rewardless obligation) with opportunity The first is imposed the second is a choice. Please remind me of the last time you saw somebody with a gun against their heads working for BOSL…

      Care to reevaluate who the ignorant is here?

      Much love,

      Frolic Mills

      • Xanadu says:

        I always wondered why messages of this kind are never signed by the real name …. not you ? (smile)

        Xanadu

        • Frolic Mills says:

          Because they have a TON to hide hun – that’s why!

          • Persia Bravin says:

            I quote:

            “Frolic Mills: The Happy Gay!”

            Fro-there’s the title of your as yet unwritten SL autobiography right there!!!

            See? These misguided, delusional and vitriolic freaks do have some use to humanity.

            Love

            Persia Bravin
            Enslaved BOSL Editor

  14. Star says:

    The problem of the happyness is that sometimes is hidden behind conformity. If you ask someone if he/she is happy, then say “yes”… when they really mean “…mmmm….don’t know”; Conformity gives you a quiet status line of monotony very dangerous.
    In fact, I really think that someone is happy when he/she has felt the disgrace and pain, because those are the people who can appreciate what is truly important and valuable.
    I thoungh I was happy when nothing bad happened in my life. How wrong! Now I can make perfectly clear my moments of happiness and joy with much more enthusiasm, and I value them much more than before, because you learn to perceibe the small details and dreams that make your day by day better.
    Your article is great. Congrats

  15. ZaaraDesmond says:

    I find so much happiness when I see my students achieving their goals, when I see them learn a new word or be able to deal with a situation they did happen to be able to deal with before… and yes it is so true… my goal was to help them to achieve their goals… so in their achievement lies my own… their happiness turns into mine ♥

  16. Hezabel Blackheart says:

    I also find is infectious. When you make someone happy. When you see that you have brought a smile to someone’s lips. It makes you happy. Makes you feel whole. I have a difficult job in RL. I see things that makes my heart break, however; is the times when I can contribute a grain of sand, the times when I can prevent the heartbreak. That is what satisfy me. That makes it all worthwhile. I work in a field where my “clients” don’t exactly have a voice or a say, but they have a presence and a purpose and a friend.. namely me.. :) and that makes me happy.

    • Frolic Mills says:

      I’ve been blessed with the opportunty of being in a position where I can help others, even if its just tiny, and I truly believe this is what keeps me centered, happy and with my feet on the ground. – Despite what others may say – LOL

      Ty wapa!

  17. Vivien Emerald says:

    Your words touched me Frolic… most inspiring article ! I wanted also to add that happiness also can come from the satisfaction of having helped a friend in need.. or even a complete stranger.. as well as someone who needed help but didnt dare ask.

    Vivien.

    • Frolic Mills says:

      Of course Vivien – there is no higher purpose in this universe than the willingness to help others!

      <3

      Fro

  18. Brittainy Collins says:

    very true words frolic and well thought out. I find quite often that people think items will make them happy and it is a fleeting happiness. Me personally what makes me happy is when I manage t make others happy or make them smile and laugh. Some sort of sunshine in their life. It make be small it may be short but it makes me feel good. I dont need pats on the head or lots of wealth, in fact i have neither but I do need to feel that the person next to me is smiling for the right reason.

  19. Temptress says:

    Awesome Frolic and so true!!

    Some times you have to look around..take a deep breath and enjoy the simples things on your life..even the most tiny one can bring you hapiness..when was the last time that you did it?

    • Frolic Mills says:

      Right after finishing writing this, I felt happy. Specially because it got Persia Bravin off my back for my August Editor’s note! LOL

      • Persia Bravin says:

        You love me really Fro!

        Great article: one of my top five Frolic favourites, and all so very true.

        Real happiness is doing something you love, believe in, and doing it to the best ability you can, and never quitting. (Bit like me demanding Publishers notes each month!)

        <3

  20. Ron Sin says:

    This is a great perspective of happiness, what drives it, as well as
    getting around potential road blocks, which can drain the happiness.

    Thank you Frolic for providing prospective insight through trained observation.

    Very well done !

  21. I just got this on my email and i enjoyed it a lot. I know what you mean about happiness, I used to have a job that was meaningless for me… I felt I was wasting my life there… but now, I have the job I always wanted, and each day, with each little thing I accomplish, it makes me happy.

    I so agree about not doing what you committed yourself to do, is really frustrating and definitely makes you unhappy.

    Thank you for posting this, is always a good reminder to keep focus in what’s really important.

    <3 Leah

Comment on this Article:







*

Recent Comments