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MEA CULPA MAXIMA………………

Nave Madison Fall March 27, 2012 Editorials 32 Comments

I APOLOGIZE. (1) I screwed up. MEA CULPA MAXIMA……………… I’ve returned from my weekend of RL adventure away from the Internet and Second Life. I came back to a post-apocalyptic wasteland in SL. And it’s ENTIRELY my fault. (2)

I feel like Gaius Baltar on the TV series Battlestar Galactica who betrayed his people to the Cylons which led to his world being destroyed. Well maybe it’s not that bad. But I won’t pontificate here. I made a bad mistake posting that Blogger post here on TheBestofSL.com. A horrendous mistake. It was ENTIRELY MY MISTAKE though. (3)

Not:

Harper Beresford’s – She had NOTHING to do with my post. She didn’t approve it, or see it, until I posted it and it blew up in her face. Harper handled the horrendously complex task of project managing FFL 2012 with aplomb, class, and came in on time and under budget. No excuses and she never hit anyone, although a few needed a smack. The American Cancer Society should put a plaque up with her name on it somewhere. Thank you Harper

Frolic Mills’ – He trusted me to write about the Best of SL. I wrote about the worst. I let him down badly. I’m appreciative of how he responded along the way and supported me. The opinions expressed were mine and not run by him for his censure or approval. Associated SL Press is separate from BOSL Magazine despite sharing the same website. Thank you Frolic.

Rusalka Callisto’s – The Editrix in Chief and with 10 years of RL experience she deserves to be. She bears no responsibility for anything I author. I don’t report to her and she had nothing to do with my post other than telling me that I had to do it myself. Great editor and manager. Thank you R.

or

Quella Quan’s – Is young and loyal and busted her ass for FFL 2012. The best of SL is right here for sure. If I’d been around to defend myself I suspect she’d have been noticed less. Thank you Ella.

Let me say it again slowly. I APOLOGIZE (4) No one else deserves any of what rained down upon them. It’s interesting to me, in reading through that holocaust of derision, that few, if any, of the people pissing and moaning the loudest had anything to do with FFL 2012 in any form. There was blood in the water so they decided to join the fray. Not surprising in SL since it’s a free fire zone. For what it’s worth I’m not a photographer in SL and criticizing the picture I stuck in that post was a cheap shot. I like my style of writing and if you don’t skip anything with my name on it as the author please.

I also want to thank the myriad of people who gave so generously of their time, money, skills and contacts. First and foremost Zeebster Colasanti of Dream Seeker Estates and his astoundingly versatile staffers, Roe Woodford and Samantha Ohrberg staff for underwriting and entertainment. Spectacular job people. The builders, creators, designers, entertainers, DJs, show coordinators, models. photographers, graphics artists, typographers, financial gurus, scriptwriters, magazine publishers, TV/Radio personalities…………………the list is endless. Thank you all for everything you did.

Back to the apologizing. No one made me write that post the way I did. It was ALL me………… and I went the wrong way with it. I do that sometimes. I apologize (5) .I am supposed to be responsible and adult, given the trust placed in me. I acted like a snarky, spoiled child. I could make a lot of excuses here about why I did that but that would be adding insult to injury. I didn’t want to hear the excuses of the bloggers who didn’t fulfill the obligation they accepted and, in many cases, actively sought out. I apologize to the ones I named who’d posted and somehow I missed seeing that there was a FFL item buried in one of the posts they made (although one of my evil friends suggested that it is as easy for them to edit a blog as it is for me. I won’t be following up on this idea though).

The reasons given for not posting were myriad and in most cases valid. I’m not going to list them or discuss them, they’ve been raked to death already. My BIGGEST mistake was naming names and I regret that now. Too late to do anything about it. I’m moving on.

So for the last time here. I made a mistake. I APOLOGIZE (6) I wanted to show some people that there is potential retribution in store for not following through on what you’d promised to do, particularly with a charity event. There are consequences and this time being named in public for failing to keep your promise was that consequence. I should have contacted every one of the people who was named. I didn’t. You can bet I won’t make this particular kind of mistake ever again.

I’ve already contacted many of the bloggers I offended and discussed this entire affair with them and patched some of the fences. Some seem to be ignoring me. Imagine that. If you haven’t been contacted it’s because you weren’t on-line when I was today or you muted me. I’ll get to you and you’ll have a shot at telling me exactly what you think of me and my ethics, writing style and ancestry.

I’m just chagrined here………..

Nave Fall

Listening to Breaking Benjamin – “I Will Not Bow”

Currently there are "32 comments" on this Article:

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  6. nevergonnatell says:

    the people who deserve an apology are the volunteers for ffl who had nothing to do with or had knowledge of this and yet are being trampled and dragged thru the mud by all of you. I shame everyone bloggers and the ppl who feel to continue u this it was not (they) it was 1 person and to shame all of them is just horrible

  7. Bladyblue says:

    How many times will the people that own this website allow this guy to post anything without submitting it to an EDITOR first? What publication in the world functions like this?

  8. Zee says:

    This apology can best be summed up in the following simple mathematical formula.

    -x + x = 0

    Where x = Nave Falls apology

    Nave FAIL

  9. Vaki says:

    Hi, Nave,

    I’m sure that you believe this is an apology. However, an apology generally involves not only recognizing an error but also not repeating it. Here, you continue to say things like “I didn’t want to hear the excuses of the bloggers who didn’t fulfill the obligation they accepted and, in many cases, actively sought out” and “I wanted to show some people that there is potential retribution in store for not following through on what you’d promised to do, particularly with a charity event. There are consequences and this time being named in public for failing to keep your promise was that consequence.”

    You use words like “obligation” and “promise” and “consequence.” I do not believe you know what those words mean.

    If you want to feel certain that bloggers are obliged to cover your event, hire them. Pay them a salary. If they fail to perform, throw all the tantrums you like. However, if you invite volunteers to cover your event in their free time, and offer them free items as an incentive (but not as payment), then — follow along with me here — THEY ARE NOT OBLIGATED. They have not promised. It doesn’t matter what the wording on your blogger sign-up form says. There are no consequences, unless you count “Event organizers might go postal if you don’t do what we say” as a consequence.

    A “promise” unsupported by compensation is not binding. If I say, “Oh, sure, I’ll go to the store for you,” and then I don’t go to the store, you don’t get to do anything about it, unless you were paying me to go to the store.

    I really hope this helps you learn what you’re doing. And the next time you make an apology, STOP REPEATING THE SAME OFFENDING BEHAVIOR right in the middle of it.

  10. Seven Waspe says:

    Your words, Nave, quoted rom your original post:
    “I was gonna assign it to someone else myself but I realized I could be really mean to some people on my own behalf.”

    Wow. What a total tool you are. I think you clearly put it out there and there is nothing in the mass of empty words you put above to negate that. Your intention really was just to be nasty to people. You said it yourself, in that one sentence.

    Because really, Nave, not you, nor Rusalka, nor anyone else, really, has the right to judge anyone else or pass judgment on whether or not their reasons for not blogging the items were valid. Doesn’t everyone always say RL comes first? Shouldn’t someone’s real life obligations come before blogging virtual clothing or accessories for SL, even if it is for a charity? I would venture to say that the majority of the public would say that even blogging for a charity should come after one’s children, health, work, family issues, and the like.

    The only reason any apologies were made is because there was such a huge backlash. I would bet money that neither you nor Rusalka would have entertained a morsel of remorse had you both not been spanked in public.

    By the way, a real apology is pure and doesn’t have hidden accusations and additional barbs tucked neatly throughout like your drivel above. You say if people don’t like what you write, then don’t read. You can probably bet that a lot of people won’t be paying attention to much of what you have to say, anyway, anymore, now that your credibility is circling the bowl.

    As you said, it is so much fun to be mean to other people, isn’t it? Too bad you don’t handle it so gracefully when you are getting a dose of your own medicine.

  11. NytEyes Marikh Gustav says:

    If there truly is a “Bloggers Hall of Shame”, I nominate Nave Madison Fall as the number one nominee. There should be a monument erected in his honor to remind everyone what it means to shame yourself in print.

    “It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.” This pseudo apology removes all doubt.

    I realize it’s futile to try to open a closed mind, but I will make one more attempt. This isn’t about how upset you are that you came back to a firestorm. This is about human beings maligned by you for your perceived idea of what they ‘should’ have done. Your lack of compassion shines through like a super nova. Yet when you are personally criticized for your own behaviour, your response is “don’t read my posts, your loss.”

    I do have a dog in this fight. She is fighting for her life and had her reputation sullied for what probably doesn’t translate to $1.00 worth of pixels and prims that she was given to write about. They aren’t even worth that much to the designer, since that person retains full rights and could make millions more copies if they chose to.

    Every time you came close to what might have been a sincere apology, you added a comment that negated any doubt you were merely typing the words with no real regret for the hurt and the harm you have done. If you had come back and showed any true remorse for the hurt you inflicted you might be seeing a very different response from all involved.

    Not only has this tainted the general publics opinion of FFL and RFL, but I know many people who will no longer wear or purchase from designers who supported the actions originally taken by FFL in the post -they- were quick to remove. These same designers also supported the posts of Nave.

    You reap what you sew. Don’t attack people who have the same right to voice their opinion of your actions as you have to take those actions. You wanted a reaction or you wouldn’t have posted the original editorial. I won’t call it an article because that implies facts were involved. Well, you got a reaction you are going to have to live with. As you said yourself, there are consequences to the actions you take.

  12. MarieClaire says:

    I believe there is a lesson to be learned here for everyone. Nave, it was completely unnecessary to print names over a blogging oversight. Not blogging, even if you signed up for it and the fact that it was for charity, is just like not showing up to a date. It is wrong, but not enough to make it a public statement. I do accept your apologies.

    On the other hand, if you don’t keep your word enough times, people will take notice and you won’t ever be taken seriously again.

    Food for thought.

    • Nave Fall says:

      Thank you for the measured words. I agree 100%.

      I made some bad mistakes and reaped the whirlwind for it.

      If someone chooses to parse my words that’s their privilege. I’ve been working my way through the people who were named one by one……………

      Thanks again

      Nave

  13. Nona says:

    Clearly you are sorry for the shit-storm your colleagues had to deal with as a result of your post. (0)

    Just as clearly, you are not sorry for the actual post. (0)

    You spent a lot of time and energy putting together this condescending diatribe, but it does nothing more than make you look like a spiteful little boy who is only apologizing in an effort not to get grounded.

    • Nave Madison Fall says:

      You are entitled to your twisted opinion of what I said. Please don’t presume to claim that you know what goes on
      in my mind.

      Warm regards,

      Nave

      • Don Mill says:

        Based on the way you show how apologetic you are and how much you antagonize everyone one may wonders if anything actually goes in your mind…

  14. Don Mill says:

    Sorry (1), sorry (2), sorry (3), sorry (4), sorry (5), sorry (6), sorry (7), sorry (8), sorry (9), I apologize (10) for calling you pathetic. I shouldn’t have used that word although it applies to you perfectly.

    I hope this apologize finds you…

    • Nave Madison Fall says:

      I don’t owe YOU an apology for anything Don……………….

      Your opinion is noted.

      Down the line you can avoid reading anything I write as is your right. Don’t feel compelled to participate in any form.

      Warm regards

      Nave

      • Don Mill says:

        I would read whatever I wish to if I have access to it as I please.

        And you are incorrect, your attempt at journalism showed such a lack of class that you owe an apology to the world for what you posted… I happen to be a part of that world :)

        • Nave Fall says:

          Don, Don, Don…………………

          I didn’t tell you what to read. I’d never do that. I merely said if you don’t like how I write pass me over. Your loss………….

          But you do go on. I don’t owe YOU anything, much less an apology. You are living in a dream world pal. You have a bit of the ol’ antagonism working there yourself.

          Your opinion is noted as I said before. Feel free to speak your mind anytime, that’s your right.

          Warm regards

          Nave

        • Matty says:

          Your answer was just what I neddee. It’s made my day!

        • fantastic web web page…Hello! I can easily honestly contain sworn Generally generally seems to this specific blog right before although just after browsing because of lot from the real own write-up Once i came across the distinct realization it truly is fresh to everyone. Ne…

  15. Don Mill says:

    …and I thought that you could not be more pathetic that you already showed you were…

    Thank you for surprising me! And let me enjoy the fray caused by the blood on the water, considering that I was not involved with the event I surely have no saying in your lousy job as a “journalist”…

  16. gabby says:

    Sorry to post again … but another thought occurred to me. You painstakingly mention the BoSL CEO, the organizer of the entire event and higher level volunteers. I’m sure they are grateful. And by doing so maybe you have saved your job. Or made yourself look contrite to them. But they are not the victims here. Everyone who has read any of this knows who the real victims are. Your apology to the actual victims is followed by excuses or even the planted idea that perhaps they may have edited their posts to make it look like they did indeed write about FFL. Now before you come back and say this is the idea of an evil friend of yours lets mention again that YOU PUT IT IN YOUR APOLOGY.

    Numbering your apologies does give you ammo to aim at people who state this isn’t a true apology. But there are excuses, implications and justifications following those numbers.

    • Nave Fall says:

      I sincerely apologized to the bloggers who got named in the original post. I don’t choose to name them again in here. Hopefully my private apologies convey my feelings sufficiently. If someone chooses to believe that I’m being specious there’s not much I can say or do about that.

      I didn’t, however, apologize to save my job. Nor did I apologize to the rest of the people who’ve piled in to the debate to get a lick in on me or with ideas on how to “improve” FFL in the future. You are certainly welcome to take it up with the representatives of the American Cancer Society ( who I also don’t work for btw). Even if the ACS staff wanted to track you down and chat with you about your ideas it’s tough when a pseudonym is used on your post.

      My simply stated opinion still stands. I think if you agree to do something and you’re paid something for that (whatever it is) you should do what you agreed to do. I don’t care if it’s pixels or cash btw. I think it’s worse if you stiff a charity. If you have a problem with me espousing that opinion you’re welcome to reply with your own.

      Looking back I handled this very badly. I’ve apologized now. I don’t plan to flagellate myself over this. I was advised by several friends that no matter what I say it won’t be good enough. They were right.

      I’m just.

      Nave Fall

  17. Gabby says:

    Hi – I have read the original postings and most of the comments to all of this. And I feel bad for all involved. I feel bad for the bloggers who were called out un-necessarily – they were volunteers. If they did not manage to get postings done they are not criminals and do not deserve the treatment they received. Just smile and thank them for their good intentions and move on. I guarantee you every one of those bloggers had good intentions. I feel sorry for Nave for posting his opinions and maybe not doing it the best way and getting slammed for it.

    I do appreciate that Nave came back and made an apology here. But I agree with Nunya’s comment somewhat that this apology is a somewhat veiled excuse – almost like you giving yourself permission for your actions. When you are dealing with volunteers its important to remember that their intentions are good. And leave it at that.

    This posting is crammed full of apologies that you count so that when people call you on your excuses you can say to them “Look I apologized 6 times!” And it reads that way. You did apologize, yes. But you countered your apologies with excuses for the situation. If the apology (or all of the apologies) were completely sincere you would not have made excuses. You would have been humble and merely said “i’m sorry. I hurt people who’s intentions were good and did not mean harm”.

    I have a feeling this apology post will generate more turmoil.

  18. THis ecuse of an apology is just as insulting as your original post.

  19. Nunya says:

    “So for the last time here. I made a mistake. I APOLOGIZE (6) I wanted to show some people that there is potential retribution in store for not following through on what you’d promised to do, particularly with a charity event. There are consequences and this time being named in public for failing to keep your promise was that consequence.”

    Translation: I’m sorry (that people took it this way), but it was your own fault.

    Douche.

    • Nave Madison Fall says:

      I admitted my EGREGIOUS mistake. If that submission didn’t suit you I can live with that because you have no dog in this fight.

      Feel free to mute me and never read anything I write anywhere. It will be your loss

      Best,

      Nave

  20. Darkley Aeon says:

    and then you go and spoil it all

    ‘I apologize to the ones I named who’d posted and somehow I missed seeing that there was an FFL item buried in one of the posts they made (although one of my evil friends suggested that it is as easy for them to edit a blog as it is for me. I won’t be following up on this idea though’

    oh look, over there, in the distance! its the point and you missed it once again, because you still dont get it do you?

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